Defra Minister Therese Coffey is in denial over fruit & veg shortages, dubbed Tomatogate, & is pushing turnips instead!
Right so Tomatogate, the supermarket fresh produce shelves are bare and Therese Coffey is telling us to eat turnips instead, earning her the nickname Baldrick after the scruffy rodent of a character from the fantastic Blackadder comedy series, who had a certain obsession with the vegetable.
I must confess, I don’t really like tomatoes and swede turnips belong in a pasty, there’s me admitting my conflict of interest regarding this fresh produce based issue, however, there’s no way in chuffing hell I’m coming down on the side of Baldrick Coffey in this argument, because it’s just her latest contemptuous, arrogant, lazy attitude towards her ministerial post. No matter where in government she’s worked, it’s clear Coffey has been all about the wage packet, the ministerial car, the perks and not the actual work.
She has implied the weather has something to do with the shortages of tomatoes, terrible weather in Spain apparently and of course the mainstream media, the BBC mainly again, are trying to convince us all that she is of course right and this is deeply unfortunate and we’re just going to have to show a bit of good old fashioned British grit to get us through our red fruit deprived crisis and nosh on a homegrown swede or turnip, what she calls cherishing our specialisms.
Sadly for mainstream media and dishonest bone-idle politicians like Baldrick, social media exists and it exists in other countries, and oh look, they have tomatoes in Spain. Oh look over there, too many tomatoes in the Netherlands, apparently it’s easier to get tomatoes in war torn Ukraine right now than it is here. She’s just talking bo**ocks.
In fact if she was up on her knowledge of all things agricultural, it is her department after all, but she’s never bothered to learn her brief in any other department she’s run before, so why start now, we’ve crops rotting in our fields and have had for some time because they aren’t getting picked and as much as a Brexiteer like Baldrick might want to avoid the subject, the elephant in the room here is Brexit. Across Europe there is free movement of goods, except to here. There have been crop issues abroad, yes, but if you want to sell what you’ve got as quickly as possible and the demand is high enough from countries not requiring red tape to sell your produce, why would you bother with the one country that does require red tape? We’re bottom of the pile, when there are produce shortages on the continent, we’re always going to be last in line and if they’ve sold up before getting to us, then hard s**t on us. We’re always going to be the ones who end up having to ration what we’ve got, which is what we’re seeing supermarkets doing with fruit and veg right now. The same goes for our homegrown crops for whom we’ve always relied on migrant labour to pick, much of which we’ve now lost and that’s to do with Brexit complications as well.

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