What is the purpose of marriage? What does it mean to be married? What does a good marriage look like?

How can you be married successfully if you don't know the deep purpose behind marriage, or don't have a useful definition of marriage?

Paul Friedman describes what marriage should look like a more accurate and usable definition and description of marriage that can be used to help guide people toward a more fulfilling relationship.

What is marriage? Isn't that an interesting question?

The truth is that everything is pretty much defined by its purpose like a boat because it goes on the water. An airplane goes in the sky and it flies you where you're going, and a stethoscope listens to your heart and so you go back to the root words and you know a scope is to listen and so forth.

What is marriage and why do you want to know what marriage is?

Well, you want to know not so you know you're a hero at the party but you want to know because your marriage should be based on what marriage is. I have heard often times well, marriage is different for different people you know. Well come on, that's like saying, "Well, boat is different for different people you know." Sure, you could have people use their boat to go out and have fun, and then you have people who live on their boat.

is that really a boat?

This is what happens, most people are living in their marriage and not fulfilling their purpose which is extraordinary and that's the number one thing about marriage -- it's extraordinary. So let's address it, let's really get into it. Look, what are you?

You have a body, you have a mind, and you are a soul. And so, what we should be doing is looking at the purposes that are fulfilled for each. Now, how did I get here?

I got here because when I was a divorce mediator, yes, I was a divorce mediator. I had a couple come in and they wanted me to help them with their marriage to save their marriage instead of get the divorce because they didn't know what else to do. So I said, okay let's see, where do I begin?

Well, why did you get married in the first place?

We get married to be happy. We get married for happiness that's the purpose of marriage is to be happy and then you have to go, "Oh, I just gave it away." Then you have to ask yourself, "Well, what brings the greatest happiness?

Then, most people go to what's good for the body things like wealth, health, you know prosperity, things that we could play with because they satisfy the needs of the body. Partially, they also satisfy the needs of the mind because when you have these things you're more relaxed. Now, little do people think but really what's going on is the mind in this scenario is literally describing the body's influence on the mind.

The body is all about one thing, it's all about survival and we don't realize how much these drives to survive which are embedded in the body influence the mind but you're a soul. Yes, psychologically you're feeling better when your body and mind are taking care of. There's no question about it, but what's the most fulfilling?

What do you really want?
What gives you the most happiness hint?

It's of the soul and it's love. Love, sweet love, real love, your soul. You are the soul, you are love, what gets in between you the soul and love there's an identification with the body's needs transfer it over to the mind and then it messes us up completely.

Marriage satisfies the soul, we get married in order to use our body and mind to learn how, yeah, learn how to love unconditionally. You can write that down if you want. We get married to learn to love unconditionally what is so cool is that it's a perfect venue for it. Once you get married it's just the two of you. In fact, I described it as the sacred space of marriage. Remember when you were a kid and you would play tag and it was always a place where you could go that was your safety zone. The world is harsh it's out to get you, you always are going to get tagged it just for standing around except for in your sacred space of marriage where only two of you are. Now, we're getting to the definition.

Marriage is a sacred space in which two of you utilize your body, mind, and soul to achieve unconditional love. That's it! Here's the cherry on top. There are people in the world who go on to a spiritual path. They seek out a spiritual path because they want absolute fulfillment of their soul. The cherry is when you're married and you're using it right. You don't have to seek any further. You don't have to worry anymore. You've found the perfect vehicle with which to train your own mind in order to love your spouse unconditionally and when you do, you've literally had to achieve the same thing that those sitting on a mountaintop are seeking. Yeah, so that's what marriage is.

#marriageexpectation #marriage #love #unconditionallove

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