Question: You mentioned that if you have intimate sexual relationships with different people, it can mess up your energies. I find myself in such a situation. I left one relationship and now I am in another one, but I feel guilty and confused about it.
Sadhguru: Whatever guilt and confusion you feel is in your mind. That can happen to you anyway, even without any physical contact. Guilt is a social phenomenon. What you feel guilty about essentially depends upon what people around you have told you is right and wrong in whatever society you live. Something you feel guilty about in one society, you would not feel guilty about in another society.
"What you feel guilty about essentially depends upon what people around you have told you is right and wrong in whatever society you live"
What I was referring to in this context was runanubandha, which is a certain kind of physical memory. You pick up runanubandha in many ways, but sexual relationships have maximum impact in terms of the amount of memory that they leave, compared to any other kind of touch, or any substance you come in touch with.
This is not a question of guilt or ridding yourself of guilt. This is not about social conditioning – we are only looking at the existential aspects of life. The body has its own memory. Today, there is research happening in this direction. To put it in a simplified way, let us say for example, your father, when he was a child, liked to play with round objects, round pebbles, and things like that, and he developed a certain level of involvement with them. As his child, without knowing why, you will tend to choose similar things. It is proven that these repetitions happen. This is simply because you carry a certain genetic material.
Runanubandha in Men & Women
Runanubandha is the physical memory that you carry within you. This memory can be acquired due to blood relationships or sexual relationships. When it comes to sexual relationships, a woman’s body has much more memory. When it comes to genetic material, a man’s body has much more memory. Generally, over eighteen to twenty-one years of age, a woman’s body carries less physical memory than a man’s body. The main reason why nature has done this is because a woman has to bear a child from a man who is not genetically connected with her. For her to carry the child to term, it is very important that her genetic memory is less.
Many women can vouch for this – the moment you get pregnant, without knowing why, your emotions for your parents and other blood relatives will fade to some extent. At least in India, when you are pregnant, you go back to your mother to seek her support, for practical reasons. But the emotional connection will decrease dramatically. This is part of nature’s system to enable a mother to comfortably accommodate the genetic material of the child’s father within her system. Otherwise, if the mother’s body has too much memory of her own parentage, the unborn child, which carries different genetic material, will struggle.
"It is just that even if you as much as hold someone’s hand, you develop runanubandha. This is why in India, people greet you with folded hands"
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