In my attempt of trying to get control over my life, and of becoming more powerful, I experienced something that turned my entire conditioned believe about true power, completely upside down?
Don’t we all have dreamt, just like in fairy tales, how to become truly powerful one day?
I was brought up to believe that having full control over my life and even control over others, means to be truly powerful, but is it really?
I’ll explain what happened to me, what made me experience the contradiction of power, so you don’t have to make my exhausting detour and can go straight towards becoming truly powerful.First of all, I was being brought up in a sometimes unsafe abusive environment, where my healthy and safe boundaries, were crossed often. Because I couldn’t really handle my emotions, I tried to get control over my emotions, by trying to wear a clown-mask of impenetrable optimism and by constant thinking and rationalising.I was so dissociating from my emotions, by wearing a mask of a clown and by putting up a wall with my constant thinking, that I thought I was in control over my life, …that nobody could get me and that I had become truly powerful.But was I really?

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