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Nothing Is Ever Anyone's Fault
Starring Rachel Bloom & Scott Michael Foster
Written by Rachel Bloom, Aline Brosh McKenna, Adam Schlesinger, Jack Dolgen

NATHANIEL
Before I knew you
I did bad things and didn't know why
But now, I know you
And I've learned to look inside
I understand what makes me
Frightened and sad
So, yes, I still do bad things
But are they actually bad? No!
Because nothing is ever anyone's fault
We're all just products of childhood trauma
Nothing is ever anyone's fault
Pain causes anger and fear causes drama
We can't control
The things we do
Just like I can't control
That I'm in love with you

REBECCA
Wow, the first part was kind of amoral, but the last thing was really sweet.

NATHANIEL
Thanks.

REBECCA
What else?

NATHANIEL
I was raised to believe
That every person's in charge of their fate
But now, I clearly see
That my father's a dick and he filled me with hate
You were the first person who told me that.

REBECCA
Maybe you have a point.
I was brought up by a fat-shaming mom
Who made me take laxatives
The week before prom (Yep!)
Now, I overeat ever since that abuse-

NATHANIEL
See?
Psychology is a great excuse

REBECCA
Nothing is ever anyone's fault

NATHANIEL
Nothing is ever anyone's fault

REBECCA
John Wayne Gacy was hit by his dad

NATHANIEL
Exactly!
It wasn't technically Hitler's fault

REBECCA
Wasn't technically Hitler's fault

NATHANIEL
Hitler's brother died

NATHANIEL & REBECCA
And that made him super sad
It's hard to paint people with evil or glory
When you know that everyone's
Got a tragic backstory
Free will's an illusion
Morality is, too
So, it's not my fault that
My parents messed me up
'Cause their parents messed them up
And Adam and Eve were messed up by God
Who was messed up originally by the Big Bang
Everything is the Big Bang's fault!

REBECCA
Good point!
Energy in space was the ultimate bad father

NATHANIEL & REBECCA
Nothing is nobody's fault

REBECCA
Nothing is nobody's-
Is that a double negative?

NATHANIEL
Eh, it sounds good, why bother?
But I'm glad for the trauma

REBECCA
I'm glad for it, too

NATHANIEL & REBECCA
'Cause my past is what led me
To fall in love with you

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