Is real friendship even possible? This is the question Schopenhauer tries to answer.
The basis of true friendship, for Schopenhauer, is an objective compassion with the weal and woe of your friend. The word “objective” here denotes disinterest – a good friend is completely selfless, and identifies himself completely with his friend, so much so that not even a trace of a selfish motive for the friendship is left.
Suffice to say, that for Schopenhauer, this is an ideal that is almost never reached in the real world. He even wonders if it’s possible at all.
Schopenhauer’s cynical view of friendship is exemplified by a passage in which he does admit that true friendship might be possible after all, only to add the disclaimer that surely, some kind of secret personal motive must be at play as well. Still, we might as well regard this kind of friendship as “genuine.” Even though it’s not perfect, it’s the best we can hope for, because at bottom, at least there is some real feeling of compassion in there.
So, the question arises: how do you know if a friend is real or fake? There are two ways to know.
You know a friend is real if circumstances force him to make some kind of great sacrifice for you. If misfortune befalls you, who of your friends will be there for you? And which of them will disappear from your life? Will your friends support you in difficult times, or will they not bother?
We also dive deeper into human nature and Schadenfreude, be sure to watch the video....
