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Steffen Raebricht explains the basics of Transactional Analysis
When a crossed transaction is happening, the sender is aiming for a certain ego-state with the receiver but the response comes from a different ego-state.
Tobias is asking his partner if he has had dinner. He expects a yes/no type answer. Instead his partner gets angry and answers: „We had a date for dinner one hour ago. You are late!“
The initial question was directed at the adult ego-state but the response is coming from the parent ego-state. In the transaction diagram the transaction is being crossed. This is the source for the name: crossed transaction.
When a crossed transaction is happening the flow of communication is interrupted or disturbed. It is like a turbulence while flying. If the people communicating can not agree on a new form of parallel transactions, this can lead to a fight about who will occupy the desired ego-state.
Theoretically there are 72 possibilities of how transactions can be crossed. In reality only certain forms of crossed transactions are important.
Most of the times an adult-adult-stimulus is crossed by a parent-child or child-parent-transaction.
It might be interesting to cross a parent-child or child-parent-stimulus with a adult-adult-reaction.
An employee asks his boss how he could answer a client's email. Unconsciously his motive may be to let his boss think for him and give him an easy answer. But his boss likes autonomy and competency in her employees. She crosses the stimulus and answers: „What do you think you could answer?“
This invites him to come up with solutions. He now can find a solution by himself or cooperate with his boss.
With a crossed transaction on adult level, the adult ego-state of your conversation partner is reinforced.
The second rule of communication in TA is related to crossed transactions. The rule says: Crossed transactions are an interruption to the flow of communication. For the flow to continue at least one person has to switch the ego-state.
If you are unhappy with the way a conversation is going it might be interesting to think about how you could cross the transaction to enable a more constructive flow.
Below the video you will find a worksheet to deepen your knowledge. In the next video we will talk about duplex transactions
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