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On Christmas Eve, Brian takes Stewie to the mall, only to get a rude brush-off from the Santa who works there. Stewie vows to kill Santa and forces Brian to take him to the North Pole.

Stewie hitches a ride with a trucker and so Brian follows him to Canada. On the way, Stewie accidentally causes a traffic pileup by discharging a flare pistol in the cab of the truck, which catches fire and explodes. Crashing his car in a chain reaction, Brian becomes angry and tells Stewie that Santa does not exist. Stewie becomes frustrated and continues to attempt to hitchhike, coercing Brian to join him. The pair encounter a Canadian who gives them his snowmobile.

Continuing north, they run out of gas, but receive help from the Aurora Boreanaz, who instructs them to stay at a nearby cabin. The two set out on foot the next morning. They make it to Santa's workshop, only to find the place a gloomy factory in a polluted, lifeless wasteland. Santa is a sickly, exhausted and depressed old man, the elves are horribly mutated and inbred due to Santa's attempts to keep up with the increasing gift demand year after year, and the reindeer are carnivorous, feral monsters that eat the elves who wander out into the snow to die of exhaustion. Santa suddenly collapses and is too sick to deliver the presents. Brian and Stewie agree to do it, but they waste an hour and a half at their first house by assaulting a father and mother and duct-taping up them and their young daughter, only to discover they were in the wrong house the whole time. Realizing that they will not complete the delivery in time and understanding the impossibility of Santa's job, Stewie and Brian abandon the delivery in lieu of another plan.

On Christmas morning, everybody on Earth wakes up without any presents under their trees. They turn on the news, which is broadcasting the same story. Brian and Stewie appear on the broadcast and bring the dying Santa out in a wheelchair, explaining that humanity's greed is killing him, and if they do not shorten their demands to one Christmas present a year, they may have to abandon Christmas. Chastened, everyone agrees; one year later, Santa has recovered, the workshop is once again a lively, colorful cottage and the elves and reindeer are rejuvenated.


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