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In episode 253 of The Super Human Life podcast, host Frank Rich interviews relationship coach and expert, Andre Santos. Andre discusses the meaning behind the statement 'I love you, but I'm not in love with you' and challenges the common misconception that love is solely a feeling. He emphasizes that love is a complex process that involves building, maintaining, and growing love. Andre also highlights the importance of taking responsibility for one's own actions and emotions in a relationship, rather than blaming the spouse. He identifies three key skill sets for successful relationships: understanding oneself, understanding the spouse, and understanding communication. In this conversation, Andre Santos discusses the importance of effective communication in relationships. He emphasizes that communication is not just about exchanging information, but about creating the right emotional impact. He explains that understanding your partner's brain and translating your thoughts and feelings in a way that resonates with them is crucial. Andre also addresses the misconception that love and relationships should just work themselves out, highlighting the importance of taking responsibility and actively working on the relationship. He introduces the concept of 'switches' in the brain that can be flipped to make someone fall in love, and emphasizes the need for intentionality and effort in maintaining a successful relationship.



Takeaways

Love is a complex process that involves building, maintaining, and growing love.

Taking responsibility for one's own actions and emotions is crucial in a relationship.

Understanding oneself, understanding the spouse, and understanding communication are key skill sets for successful relationships. Effective communication in relationships is about creating the right emotional impact, not just exchanging information.

Understanding your partner's brain and translating your thoughts and feelings in a way that resonates with them is crucial.

Taking responsibility and actively working on the relationship is important, rather than expecting love and relationships to just work themselves out.

There are 'switches' in the brain that can be flipped to make someone fall in love, and understanding these switches can help in maintaining a successful relationship.

Maintaining a successful relationship requires intentionality and effort, even after the initial stages of dating and marriage.


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