How to Night Wean While Co-Sleeping

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If you co-sleep with your baby or toddler, and you're ready to night wean, check out this video! Discover how to night wean while cosleeping, with Jilly's easy, step-by-step method.

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Transcription:

In this video, I’m answering a question sent in by a tired mom about how to night wean her 18 month old whilst continuing to co-sleep.

This mom was ready to night wean but was feeling hesitant about going through the hassle, and then still having to deal with night wakings. She asked for suggestions on how to continue cosleeping whilst night weaning.


Tip 1: Add more feeds during the day
However much your little one is feeding during the night, you want to make sure you accommodate that in the day instead. You can offer more meals, more snacks or more breastfeeding.


Tip 2: Don’t replace breastfeeding with new sleep crutches
Don't introduce new sleep associations where your toddler will be dependent on you to fall asleep.


Tip 3: Communicate your expectations to your toddler (during the day)
Explain to her about any new changes that might be coming in an upbeat, simple and positive way. Let her know what you expect of her, during the day when she’s happy and it’s not close to bedtime.

“You’re going to sleep all night, just like Mommy and Daddy, because you’re a big girl! But there will be no more milk until morning and Mommy will cuddle you.”

Act it out in a simple way – that the milk will go to sleep when the moon comes out, and wake up again in the morning. Use phrases she’s familiar with.


Tip 4: At bedtime, do whatever necessary to get her to sleep
Nurse her until she’s drowsy, then take her off the breast before she falls asleep. You’re bedsharing, so lie her down and lie down next to her. Stroke her back, sing to her – whatever she likes to help her fall asleep.

She may totally revolt, because she’s not used to this! It’s okay to continue feeding her for the next few nights to get her used to the new routine.
In the night, make the breast less accessible for her. Wear a sports bra or something where she can’t get access to the breast and latch herself on.


Tip 5: Lie still and wait during night wakings
When your toddler wakes in the night, lie very, very still. Play dead!

On Night 1, count to 50 slowly. If she’s still rustling around or grabbing at you, move onto your night-time steps.

On Night 2, count to 75. On Night 3, count to 100. After that, add 1-2 minutes every night.
This is what I call resettling. It lets your little one know that you’re not going to come rushing to get her back to sleep. Or she will never learn to fall back to sleep by herself.

Keep a sippy cup ready by the bedside. Offer her milk first, then switch to water.
Use the same phrase over and over to let her know that the milk is sleeping. Children learn by repetition.


Tip 6: Recruit your partner to handle night wakings
If your baby or toddler gets really upset, often it helps for mom, especially a breastfeeding mom, to leave the room. Mom can go lie on the couch and let Dad handle the rest of the night wakings. Dad can do whatever it takes to calm the little one down – rock her, walk her around the room, sing to her, pat her.

The first few nights can be quite rough. But often it will go quicker with Dad, as the breasts are out of the room!

If that’s not possible, that’s okay. You can still do it! Put a sports bra on and stay consistent!


An 18 month old can understand more than we expect. If you’re really consistent, then normally by Night 3 they will understand what the new routine is. That they won’t breastfeed in the night, and they will only get water when they wake up.

Then they really will wake up less often and for a shorter time!


Tip 7: Greet your child with praise and cuddles in the morning!
No matter how the night went, you want to greet your child with a big smile, a big cuddle, lots of kisses and lots of praise. Let her know how well she did. The milk was sleeping but now you can have it!

If she’s a little bit clingier than normal, offer her the breast a little bit more often. She might be hungrier than normal too. Offer her a bit more comfort than normal.

I hope that helps! Good luck on night weaning while cosleeping!

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