How is anyone still named Luigi in 2024? Something is happening in Syria and it's our job as Americans to know as little as possible about it. Daniel Penny was found not guilty. Trump gets his flirt on with Jill Biden and simultaneously launches a new cologne. Turns out men CAN'T breastfeed, who knew?

0:00 - It Keeps Gettin' Weirder
5:59 - Daniel Penny Acquitted
8:17 - Important Stories We're Ignoring
9:07 - Sheath Underwear
10:17 - Weather
10:32 - Troll-In-Chief Again
12:11 - WOMEN!
14:32 - Phetasy News
15:50 - The Internet Is Glorious

End Music - Sweetfire performed by Lightmaker

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