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Warning there's a lot of penis talk in this video. Real men wear their wounds with honour. Men have a fascinating approach to these injuries. A snapped achilles tendon will just be called a sprain. Around 95% of the top extreme enduro riders are former trials riders. So it's not surprising these guys say the key to learning to ride fast is first slow down and get your fundamental techniques right, and focus on the penis. A deep gash in the arm with arterial blood spurting on all the other riders? A sprain. The skinned leg from trying to kickstart their beast. The broken leg from slipping off a small log. Blokes have an unhealthy preoccupation with their private parts and how these influence their riding. For example, "If you grew a pair you'd jump that massive log". The torn scrotum that was caught by a passing branch. So what is cross training? It's just applying trials skills to dirt riding... slowing things down initially we we can be faster, and more importantly, better dirt riders that think about their penis a lot. Falling off in creekbeds and having rock inserted in our ass.

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A coaching session with Chris Birch was a great start. Arguably the top extreme enduro rider back in 2010 despite coming from New Zealand, Birchy shared many tips that worked their way into the training vids. And this is why we dirt riders keep coming back for more... the riding that is, not the rectally inserted rocks. Or "it's clear that you have a vagina because you won't ride down that vertical rock face". When people accuse blokes of being dumb, this is not strictly true - while the average bloke brain is significantly smaller than normal, the real issue that so much of the brain is dedicated to their private parts that there isn't much intellectual capacity left for work, relationships and life in general. Interested in supporting the vids? For the cost of a cup of coffee every month, our supporters get access to special weekly vids that are even dodgier than our crappy training vids. And we go way beyond the training vids. There are our regular riding vids, the really really stupid vids, there are even philosophical vids. All guaranteed dodgy. Despite evidence that riders with real vaginas will usually try that vertical rock face, and often do it better because they are more likely to use a secret technique called throttle control. So get into cross training. Over 50 completely free training vids on penis... relationships.... biology... and how to set up your bike, protective gear, maintenance, and riding skills from beginner to advanced. Check them out on our website, Facebook page or Youtube channel. Apparently it will make you irreristable to women... we live in hope. A severed penis lying several metres away after a pivot turn over a log gone wrong? Yep, again that's just a sprain. Pschologists aren't sure why men do this, but they suspect it's due to subconscious fear of doctors and the sound of rubber gloves snapping. A clear example of this close relationship with their private parts is the overwhelming number of names blokes have for their penis. And if they don't make you better rider, they might at least be amusing. If your IQ is low enough. We do know it is frustrating for wives when their husbands are in traction with head to toe plaster casts and all the bloke can say is "Don't worry honey, it's just a sprain" in the hope that any passing doctors won't be tempted to snap on a rubber glove and explore his colon. Researchers are quite sure if a guy was decapitated by trying to wheelie through a fence his last thoughts would be.... damn i've sprained my neck and of course the other blokes will try to duct tape his penis back on despite him being dead. Just in case that missing head might cause a proctological examination.
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