In this video I discuss radical acceptance, explain what it is, when to use it and how to practice it. Radical acceptance is a distress tolerance skill and comes form the school of psychotherapy called dialectical behaviour therapy or DBT. Radical acceptance means accepting this moment or situation exactly how it is. For example. Ben has osteoarthritis and has to rely on a walking stick. He can't walk very far and needs regular breaks. Rather than getting angry about his position he radically accepts "this is my life, I am in pain, I can't walk very far but my life is worth living". Ben accepts his situation but this doesn't mean he has given up or approves of his situation. Ben recognises his situation exists and he accepts the facts about his condition. If Ben didn't accept his health issue he might not take such good care of himself, maybe not taking breaks or not taking his medication which could lead to more suffering down the line.

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🔵 CHAPTERS

0:00 What is radical acceptance?
2:43 When to use radical acceptance
4:06 How to practice radical acceptance

I want to stress that radical acceptance does not mean you approve of your situation. It certainly doesn't mean you have to approve of being ill or approve of being in an abusive relationship. Radical acceptance is not passivity or giving up.

There are there types of situation when radical acceptance is useful.

1, you experience trauma or pain. For example, you may have a traumatic past. Accepting the the facts of a traumatic past can be very painful and complete acceptance may take some time, months or even years. But you cannot change what has already happened, fighting with the past only blinds you to the present moment. You cannot control the past as it has already happened but you can chose to accept your past so you can make changes in your future.

2, You are in distress but not a crisis. For example, you are in a traffic jam and are going to be late for an important job interview. Getting angry will not change your situation. It would be more helpful to accept you are going to be late, call the office, explain what has happened and see if you can rearrange the interview. Accepting the present moment situation enables you to problem solve.

3. Problem solving isn't working. For example, you have caught COVID and your daughters wedding is in two days and you have been planning the wedding for two years. This is a good time to accept the reality that you are sick and should stay at home to recover. There is nothing you can do to change this situation other than accept it. The outcome is not what you want but there is nothing you can do to make this any different.

It's not always easy to practice radical acceptance. It's something is painful a natural response if to push it away or try to block it. And it's not always as simple as saying 'yes, I accept this situation'. The more painful the situation the longer it can taker for you to fully accept it. Sometimes the the process of acceptance is a choice you make every day, sometimes several times a day. For example, accepting that a parent has died is not something many people just accept and this may take some time, months or even years. You may observe there are times when you accept and times when you don't accept. When you don't accept you may notice thoughts such as 'why me' or feelings of anger or bitterness.

🔵 ABOUT TERESA LEWIS

Teresa Lewis is the founder and Director of Lewis Psychology and a Senior Accredited psychotherapist with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP Snr. Accred). Qualified in 1995, Teresa has been providing counselling and psychotherapy treatment for nearly 30 years. Teresa holds a masters degree in counselling and psychotherapy and is a qualified EMDR Practitioner having completed training accredited with EMDR Europe. Teresa is also a qualified adult educator and an accredited Mindfulness teacher As a recognised expert in her field Teresa is frequently asked to conduct editorial reviews and endorse counselling and psychotherapy books for international publishing houses.

☐ Email: teresa.lewispsy@gmail.com
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Thumbnail and B-Roll graphics by Teresa Lewis. B-Roll video is used in strict compliance with the appropriate permissions and licenses required from Pexels.com in accordance with the YouTube Partner Program, Community guidelines and YouTube terms of service.

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